The Pettest of My Peeves
Posted: Tuesday, January 19, 2010
by Harlan Foster
Very Good Company
What's a pet peeve? Something I can scratch behind the ears, feed twice a day and change the water as often as necessary? I wish pet peeves were that type of creature. To do away with one would be quite easy. Unfortunately, I live with several pet peeves. And, I'm sure that others around me must feel the same way about me and my American cultural habits (I live in a foreign country). But there is one pet peeve that I'm sure I'll gain some support with, after I explain what it is. Just to play with this a moment farther, let me give you some clues about it. Probably one hundred percent of the people reading this article have encountered it; that same unanimous percentage has tolerated it for years; and no doubt, each of us has asked ourselves the same question with different words like, "Why doesn't someone teach these people the right way to answer the phone and manage a call?" Well shucks! Now I've given it away.
"(sluuuurr)"
"I'm sorry, where have I reached?"
"(sluuuurr) whodoyouwant?"
"Young woman, please tell me what company I have reached so I can understand the name of the company. Please speak slowly."
"THIS IS THE ABC COMPANY WHODOYOUWUNNATALKTO?"
"I'd like to talk to the office manager."
"She's not here. Anyone else?"
"No. No thanks." Click (Good thing I didn't talk to her. I was going to get that girl fired, if I could.)
Then there is this one. This never fails to both amuse and rile me, no end. It's amusing because of the simplicity of the question and angering because of the failure of the human at the other end of the phone to hear what is being said. Dig this.
"ABC Company, how may I direct your call?"
"I'm calling for Frank Smith. Is he in this morning?"
(the line goes dead no sound at all)
(a moment later) "Hello (a woman's voice)"
"Hello. With whom am I speaking?"
"Who are you looking for?"
"Please tell me your name."
"Who's calling (not a question, a demand)?"
"I'm trying to reach Frank Smith."
"He's not in. I can take your name and number and have him call when he gets here."
"Thanks. I'll call back." Click
The operator who asked how my call might be directed did not hear my "yes or no" question, whether Frank Smith was in or not. Instead, she forwarded my call to someone else, causing a strain on me, the caller, and jeopardizing a business relationship that may cost ABC Company some future income. Then there is this one; I suppose if I had to rank these phone experiences, I'd place this one near the top of the "I'M GONNA SCREAM" list.
"Good morning, ABC Company. This is (sluuuurr). How may I direct your call?"
"Good morning. I'd like to get some information about your line of water heaters. To whom will you direct my call? (I'm asking where my call is going because I want the name of the person to whom I will be speaking. Saying the name of the person to whom I'm speaking is an ego builder for most anyone.)"
"I'm transferring your call to marketing. I don't know who is in the office right now."
"That's fine. Thank you."
"Shipping."
"Shipping? I was just transferred to marketing. How did I get you?"
"Hang on, I'll transfer your call."
(I don't get the chance to say thanks.)
"Maintenance, this is Bob."
"Bob, I'm trying to reach someone in marketing. Can you help me?"
"Yeah. Lemme connect you with the operator."
(before I can object, the line is silent; it stays that way for about six minutes.)
"Good morning, ABC Company. This is (sluuuurr) How may I direct your call?"
(I'm fuming inside but it's not right to take it out on her.) "Marketing, please."
Silence
"Marketing, this is Maggie."
"Good morning Maggie. My name is Harlan. I'm trying to find out about your line of water heaters. Are you able to help me?"
"No. I'm going to transfer your call to shipping. They have all the product information there."
(WHY DIDN'T THE & %**$# OPERATOR TRANSFER MY CALL TO SHIPPING TO BEGIN WITH?)
"Shipping"
"Good morning (I don't mean it anymore). I'm trying to get some information on the water heaters you folks sell. Can you help me?"
"Wuddyawanna know about em?"
"I'd like the names of the heaters and specifications for each size."
"Anything else?"
(Thinking I have finally struck pay-dirt, my anger subsides and I'm back in control.) "No, that will do for now. How can I obtain this information?"
"I'll transfer your call to marketing. They have a bunch of brochures they can mail to you."
(I'm boiling, again. Why don't I hang up and call someone else? Am I being a fool, going through this verbal obstacle course for some kind of training? What's wrong with me? Am I a glutton for punishment?)
(silence for about eight minutes)
"Marketing, this is Tommy."
"Hello Tommy. Do you have brochures that describe the specifications on the brands, types and sizes of water heaters you folks sell?"
"Water heaters? We don't sell water heaters. We sell climate control air conditioning."
(I push the button down on the telephone, disconnecting the call, bang the hand unit against my head twelve or fifteen times, bang my head against the desk eight or ten times then hang up the phone, and, having been sitting all this time, cry.)
Train telephone operators and others whose occupation it is to answer the telephone at a professional company on how to take a call and what to do with it. Train them also to listen to the calling party; hear what is being said or asked. It's so easy to listen to someone ask a yes or no question and give them a yes or no response. Take the time to hear the caller; it may be worth money to the company.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)I'm sorry but you can't possibly be using a modern phone system as you've been speaking to actual people...in the mmodern world, they only use computerized systems and you don't get to talk to people...
A funny to read (- can only imagine what it was like to be on the other end of the phone!)piece that expressed your sentiments very well! Marijo
Ryan: thanks for stopping by. I must have been so busy that I missed your comments. The only words on your post are "New Comment."
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